This Halloween my whole family was over for my sister’s birthday. We have this huge party every year and we all dress up. So anyway my ex bf texted my two guy friends who were there asking “where are you guys?” Then I get a text from him saying “Can I come over to watch the yanks?” I never answered but he also asked my friend asking if I would mind. First of all who is he even with that would come from the other side of town just to watch the game. Also, why couldn’t he watch it with his gf?! who also was my neighbor and sister of my friend at the party.Thankfully my friend said that it was only a family party. And it really was and my friends that were there are my best friends, pretty much like family so that was no lie. He never answered. I was so thankful to have my friends understand me and stick up for me when I needed them and most of all to have them agree with me. Thank you all.
I honestly do not know how to express my feelings in the way that is needed. When he keeps talking to me, I answer, he smiles, I smile back. As if nothing happend yeah right. In this case I don’t think forgetting is always the option.
I went to friendly’s the other night with my friends after my school’s variety show. I was having a great night. Right when we were getting our ice cream this kid from my school comes to my table dropping a stuffed animal bat saying this is for you michelle. I noticed that he has been talking to me a lot lately and more now then ever flirting. Just my luck, I don’t want to be mean in any way I just DO NOT like him. The next day he comes up to me, “michelle how did you lke your bat?” I replied “interesting”. I am not a mean person what so ever but when something really starts to bug me I can be a total bitch. Everyone has their moments. I tried to ignore him for the rest of the day.
People say that If you want someone wish for it, believe it will come true and it will. I disagree, as much as I want to look at it this way I can’t. When I don’t think about things they often come true if I wanted them or not. I’m starting to think that’s what I’m going to have to do. Forget
There are no words to describe how I’m feeling right now. Sad, Upset, Angry, Disappointed, hurt: It just doesn’t match up. Why do you keep talking to me when you like someone else? I can not believe she likes you again after everything that happened. Apparently everyone’s fine with that but if it was me people would say Michelle what’s wrong with you, have you lost your mind?
Why is this? I loved how I was at a table with him (which I didn’t want to be at) today with my friend, I left and as soon as I did her and all of her friends came over and sat with him. Also, I’m going to a sweet 16 with all of them soon; that should be fun: NOT! Why is life the way it is? I’m done with this bull shit but I can’t escape it. I need someone new in my life and I want that someone to like and notice me as much as I do to him.
Ever wonder sometimes how two things would work together? well i decided to experiment with segrams seven and arizona fruit punch… the end result was actually not bad but w/e.
Daveez has this ugly dog that acts like a slut, literally. He would seriously walk over to you and cuddle then leave you once he gets bored. He doesnt sound like much of a slut the way i describe him , but trust me he is.
I look way too into things. I definitely believe in signs and fate. If something happens I will automatically think to it, say it’s a sign. I over analyze things way to much and this is why I think my dreams get crushed. I want certain things to happen so bad that I won’t stop thinking about it which I think jinxes it but I can’t help it. I have to high hopes. I am a strong believer of things happen for a reason. I hear this and think oh nothing is happening maybe it’s not meant to be but I just can’t accept that. It takes time I guess but really how long? If It’s meant to be it will happen. But make it soon:(
Lately i’ve been in such a bad mood. First of all i’m sick and second of all there’s just so much going on in my life right now that I really don’t want to deal with. I have been so stressed lately with just about everything. I have no time for myself. At the moment my room is under construction so i’m on my sister’s floor. I want my room back: a place where I call home a place where I can be alone. My room is where i’m at peace.
So he keeps saying he will change but all I see is him getting worse. I can’t believe that he keeps texting and hooking up with other girls…obviously he can’t care too much.
Speaking of not caring, It doesn’t make you cool if you don’t answer my message. I thought I realy liked you but who am I trying to fool. You’re too different, people say opposites attract but I don’t know if can believe that. I thought there was something there. So I hardly see you or know you but that doesn’t mean I don’t know enough to say that I like you. I feel it there and don’t know how to make it come out. I’m starting to think you’re a jerk and I have sure been through my fair share of jerks in my life and don’t want another one. No one needs another jerk.
I can’t give in. He’s back in my life and it’s making me remember what we had. It’s making me miss him and i’m trying my best to forget about it but I don’t think my best is enough. He meant a lot to me in such a little way. I was never in love with him or anyone at that. If I said I was I would be lying and lying to yourself is never the best solution because your just tricking yourself. Tricking yourself in love’s game.
When we were together I never saw us as anything or working out in the long run. I need to consider this now more then ever.. Nothing more will ever happen because I won’t let it.
Note to self: never let Mr. Ruiz know anything ever again! I’m walking to spanish where my new spanish teacher’s room is right across from my old teacher Mr. Ruiz, I walk in the room and hear them talking about me in spanish of course but I heard my name and went back. I asked what they were saying about me and Mr. Ruiz responds- “she needs better taste in guys.” I froze I just walked away. Then “he” comes acting all confused like why is Mr. Ruiz talking about me. It was so embarrassing. I have to say it did feel good hearing Mr. Ruiz criticize my ex.
I apologized trying to make things right. I want to be friends but now I feel ignored a whole new different type of lonely. I was annoyed by you texting me before but I want you to now but now you won’t . why?
Maybe I miss you
Maybe I want you back in my life.
But as a friend…only. get it?!
I’m sorry if I was mean to you you just need to understand where i’m coming from. Thank you for that and for keeping your feelings to yourself.
If you don’t get that we can only be friends then we can be nothing. It’s now up to you to make this friendship work.
I remember on the first day oh high school entering as a freshman. I absolutely hated it. All I remember was coming home that first day and going home to cry in my bedroom. It was such a different environment and I was for sure not used to any of it. After the first week I grew much more comfortable with it and was fine. Even happy.
Now I enter high school once again but as a senior. Senior year is supposed to be your best year. I enter with a new perspective. I feel more confident. It’s a great feeling walking through the halls knowing you are now a senior, you have first choice of everything and everyone looks up to you. I truly hope this year is a great as everyone makes it out to be. Well of course there’s prom, graduation, the senior picnic and the senior banquet. All things I am looking forward to but all of them are at the end of the year. And of course I have track to look forward to. I’m finally one of the seniors on track! This will be fun.
It’s scary to think that this time next year I’ll be in college.
p.s. my ex boyfriend is in my spanish class again and has been texting me. UGHHH:( and the guy I like hardly knows who I am. “the path of life is strange
you have something you need but sometimes it doesn’t need you”
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