Undressing The Words

He really is my idle guy. Well except for one thing, but one thing…who cares cuz I don’t. One little thing doesn’t mean anything. This doesn’t mean I should change. Right? I mean I just hope everything works out. Especially because so many more opportunities keep on coming and I want to use every possible advantage to make this happen.

At times I just wanna be alone

give up

and not care

But then I ask where is the hope….

This is the end.

I can’t take it anymore.

I need to go away to college like NOW.

August 12, 2008…One day I would love to go back to more than anything. The Soundtrack Of Your Summer Tour in NYC. There are no words to describe what this day meant to me. Hanging with The Maine in NYC. What else needs to be said? Talking with them for hours, sharing skittles with Kennedy, signing tickets, taking pictures and videos of John saying he loves us. Like I said, I wanna go back! Nothing can ever compare to that night. I’m happy that I had this amazing experience then or it would never of happened because they are getting so big and everyone just loves them now. I’ve had great luck with them before, I got vip tickets to one of their shows for free and I even had the chance to talk to Pat on facebook. I got so many pictures with them and I have so many signed shirts but that all means nothing. It’s more like proof, proof to show that you met them and were with them. Honestly this isn’t meeting them, what I got to go through on the night of that tour, now that’s really meeting them. I can take pictures and have them sign my shirts every show, but really meeting them like I did, that is now an experience that will only happen that one time. And now not many people ever will have this opportunity including my cousin who thinks she’s hot shit because she finally got pictures with them all. Let me just point out that if it wasn’t for me she wouldn’t of ever knew who The Maine is!

November 24, 2009… I got these tickets the day and exact time they went on sale. Another chance to see The Maine! I was excited and filled with hope that I’ll have another amazing night and get to hang with them again, forgetting how big they really are now. The show was amazing as always. After everyone goes outside in hope to see the bands. Like everyone else so did we. Lets just say the night turned out not quite as we hoped or expected. Before we knew it we were getting held back by security guards all over. It was awful. Everyone tried running across the streets and back and all just to take a picture with The Maine. I didn’t get one single picture. As Pat came and was forced to go in their van he yelled “I’m sorry, it’s not our fault.” This actually really made me want to cry. I know it’s sort of cliché to say but seeing them makes me happy and seeing them go like this made me sad. After this tour they said they’re taking a break to write more which is great for them I guess but I’m gonna miss them and those shows of theirs that I live for.

Putting this all behind, my night beats others by far. I sort of circumvented myself trying to believe that this night can possibly be better than last. Some might consider this better but me, still nothing can compare to that first time. Yet still this night isn’t one to omit. It’s one experience I wouldn’t of thought would ever happen but it did. I can’t forget last summer, but I can always fantasize future shows and opportunities to be with The Maine. I came to to think, no matter what happens or what we get into at their shows, it’s always a great experience. Through all of their shows I go to, one thing’s for sure, I will never forget last summer.

♥☮ The Maine

It brings fire to my eyes, seeing you with them. Knowing I called them first and they were nothing to you until I showed you my zeal. All of these pictures, you with him, him with you, it brings me so much envy even though I experienced this many times before. I wish just to go back in time when she didn’t know, when nobody knew. The excitement and joy they bring me to me is phenomenal. I can’t listen to her go on and on about this like I never experienced it but I did and way before her. Now is the time to bring about my optimism and to prospect that tomorrow will be a day to commemorate and remember for ever. All I want is to repeat that day of August 08. I know I will with our luck and passion. We all have been degraded, we all will be the greatest.

Today I decided to be the bigger person. Maybe I really do need to put everything in the past. But it’s never that easy. There’s no way to forget what has happened in the past couple of months. It has been hard and awkward to deal with but just like anything else we move on.

Apparently we’re not friends anymore. Apparently you’re better than me. Apparently you think your best friend is amazing. Well news flash…You are now shit to me, you and your friend. Okay so you did what you felt but I never thought you would drop so low to forget.

Is it june yet? All of this college stuff stresses me out but at the end I graduate and move on. Cuz you know that’s what high schools all about. It’s your path to the real world, that path I wish to me on right now. I honestly can’t say I’ll miss it much more. I want it to end.

p.s. We’ll light the night with the fire in our eyes.

** Fate is calling me.**

In the morning I went to the beach with my friends and we walked to the light house. It was fun but cold. I  had this talk to with my best friend about coincidences. She made a point. How many coincidences can really take place. It will all lead to something I guess. I hope.

Things change I guess. It all depends. I feel like this was a step back now. Something good happened and then this sort of erased it. Let’s not believe in steps back only forward. After seeing him today I really remember how much I like him and I don’t want that to change. The only thing I would want to change is his feelings towards me. Not like I know what they are but what are the chances. Yet again I’ve said that before and look what happened.

lovvvveeeelifffeeeee<3